Ten Ways to Find Love … and How to Keep It (Lisa Portolan, Echo)

Lisa Portolan’s Ten Ways to Find Love … and How to Keep It explores the idea that pursuing love in the digital age is not just about finding love but also embracing our authentic (not curated) selves in the process. Portolan (Love, Intimacy and Online Dating: How a Global Pandemic Redefined Romantic Relationships, The Overthinkers), who holds a PhD in dating apps and intimacy, brings an academic perspective to the subject. The book is divided into two parts: ‘Ten Ways to Find Love’ and ‘Ten Ways to Keep It’. Drawing on data from surveys and interviews with hundreds of participants, Portolan synthesises these insights into some top strategies for building lasting real-world relationships. The advice touches on themes such as kindness, sharing, accepting yourself, physical touch and passion, and dating ‘like you’re on holidays’. While some of these ideas may seem familiar, Portolan balances them with references to sociology, psychology and academic theories. The book’s strength lies in its case studies of heterosexual/cisgender and LGBTQIA+ people’s experiences with dating apps. Some participants speak of the apps as a fake, curated game of ‘emotional poker’, highlighting the disposable ‘swipe and flick’ culture that permeates digital dating. Ten Ways to Find Love … and How to Keep It will resonate with those actively dating digitally or anyone curious about it. The accessible sociological focus will appeal to readers of Alain de Botton and Elizabeth Gilbert.

Books+Publishing reviewer: Michelle Atkins is a communications professional and published educational author. Books+Publishing is Australia’s number-one source of pre-publication book reviews.

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