Painting Portraits of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated (Joseph Earp, Pantera)

Painting Portraits of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated is both surprisingly tender and hilariously acerbic, with Joseph Earp’s writing effortlessly drawing the reader in. The novel follows Ellie Robertson, an artist at a crossroads who has just won the prestigious Cope Prize. Yet, instead of elation, she is gripped by panic, unsure of where to go from here. The joy she once found in painting has faded, and her past relationships continue to haunt her. Ellie’s solution is both bizarre and brilliant: painting portraits of all her exes to come to grips with her past and reconnect with her passion. It’s a premise that could have felt like a mere narrative device, but Earp turns it into something far richer, balancing sharp observational humour with genuine emotional weight. The novel’s strength lies in its ability to shift between the absurd and the profound, making each of Ellie’s encounters – whether cringeworthy (the greasy real estate agent who turns out not to be her childhood boyfriend) or unexpectedly eye-opening – feel authentic and relatable. Earp’s characters are eccentric yet deeply realistic. This is the kind of book that will make you laugh out loud in public and perhaps even cry, as I did. Zany, witty, fun, heartrending and wise, Painting Portraits of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated not only entertains but also offers sharp insights into love, art, and self-perception. Fans of You Are Here by David Nicholls and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin will thoroughly enjoy this debut novel.

Books+Publishing reviewer: Jemma Moreira is an editor with 15 years of experience in the book trade, having worked in a number of bookshops and been a judge for the 2023 Ockham New Zealand Book Awards. Books+Publishing is Australia’s number-one source of pre-publication book reviews.

Books+Publishing pre-publication reviews are supported by the Copyright Agency Cultural Fund.

Category: Friday Unlocked reviews Reviews